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ATOMIC WEDGIE SENDS GOLFER TO HOSPITAL

By / 03.27.07

Man, I always knew golfers were among the badass elite in the hierarchy of athletes — below mixed martial arts fighters, but certainly above hockey and football players — but I never realized just how hard it was to survive on a high school golf team.

A 13-year-old Georgia student riding a school bus received a “wedgie” during a school hazing incident so painful that his mother took him to the emergency room. WJXT-TV reported that the boy, who wished to remain anonymous, is a member of the Charlton County High School junior varsity golf team. He was riding the bus along with varsity members, who held him upside down. “It [The wedgie] was so extreme it ripped his boxer shorts in two," said the student's mother, Carol.

Way to go, Carol. Why don't you just tell the reporters how long your emasculated son cried while you're at it?

"He was bent over and couldn't hardly walk. He cried for probably 30 minutes," Carol said.

Wow. Mom of the Year right there. Picking up girls should be a piece of cake for this kid. I mean, after he changes his name, moves to a different town, and waits a decade. Trust me, I know. If you think golf initiations are tough, you should have see the quiz bowl team hazing I went through. I still wake up in a cold sweat sometimes, and to this day I can't eat zucchini.


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