THE FINAL FOUR: NO PLACE FOR CINDERELLAS
TIME TO DANCE ON JOE THEISMANN'S GRAVE

LANDON DONOVAN IS LESS OF A PUSSY

By / 03.26.07

For those of you who don't follow soccer — I understand this is most of you — Landon Donovan is not exactly the man's man of soccer. To put this in the right hierarchy of pretty-boys, he's kind of the Lance Bass to David Beckham's Justin Timberlake.

A prodigy in his teens, Donovan signed with a German club well before he was ready, flamed out spectacularly, then came back to the States homesick and worse for the wear. He did that twice, actually. Yet he remained a rising star of US Soccer, shining in the '02 World Cup before disappearing for an 18-month span that included the US's sorry '06 Cup. Now he plays for the LA Galaxy in MLS, afraid or unwilling to raise his game against stronger competition in pro leagues overseas.

Well, apparently, he's back. Yesterday he notched a hat trick against an Ecuador team that was starting eight players from its World Cup Squad. And the third one was a fucking rocket of an exclamation point.

You can see all the game's goals here, which are enjoyable not just for Landy not sucking, but also for Team USA's new unis. They look like an actual soccer team now. kits. They look like proper footballers now.


TAGSDOUCHEBAGSLANDON DONOVANSOCCER

I want more like this!

Follow us on Facebook and get the latest before everyone else.

Join The Discussion


[avatar]

Join the discussion. or Register





Powered by WordPress.com VIP