ELEPHANTS ARE NATURAL ATHLETES
HERE'S A PENIS ON A FOOTBALL FIELD

BOOZE + DRUGS + PLAYMATES = GOLFING FUN

By / 04.26.07

The LA Weekly has an interesting piece written by Shari Albert that not only makes golf sound like fun, but also exposes Jose Canseco as too drunk to drive a golf cart.  Good times!  Albert, writing from the first-person vantage point of a seventh-hole bartender, details the goings-on of the charity event, which was chockful o' Playboy Playmate (and wannabe) goodness.

One of the actual Playmates got so wasted she pulled aside her G-string to squat and pee right next to my tiki bar. Then, a golf cart pulled up, and out walked a strapping Latino with the arms of a Valkin Warrior. Someone said that it was Jose Canseco… I began pouring him shots and didn’t stop for a good 25 minutes.

Throughout the day, gossip leaked in through the Golf Girl grapevine… a Bunny was carted off for smoking rock on one of the greens… There was also a rumor that Canseco, after leaving my watering hole, tipped over his golf cart, causing his wife to sprain her wrist. Oops. Was that my fault?

Hmm… Yes, yes: crack would make gold more fun. Go on.

Then a man the size of a refrigerator who was said to play for the Giants (appropriately) decided it would be funny to tackle my tiki bar. He knocked the whole thing down around me like a bad spaghetti-Western set. When I asked him if he was going to clean up the mess, he looked at me like I was from another planet. 

I know what you're thinking: Shockey!  But no, Steroid Nation thinks that photo documentation suggests it was cornerback Jason Bell.  Well, that's no fun.

Photo is of Playmates Katie Lohmann (NSFW) and Karen McDougal (NSFW).


TAGSGOLFTRACK AND FIELDWHERE THE WHITE WOMEN AT?

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