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IVAN BASSO PREFERS WEAPONS METAPHORS

By 04.29.07

Ivan Basso is an Italian cyclist who rides for the Discovery Channel team.  Well, maybe not:

Basso was suspended by his Discovery Channel team on Tuesday after the reopening of the investigation into his implication in Operacion Puerto, a Spanish police probe into blood doping by a group of doctors in Madrid.

Exciting stuff, huh?  I can't believe a sport as pure as cycling could be subject to the same heinous acts as other sports.  Also, is there any way to dope your blood to remove the evils of a Saturday night of binge drinking?  I should have never dumped that EMT because she would administer Saline IVs in such cases.  Any way, here's the funny part of the story:

"However, I feel really frustrated. If these latest events had emerged in December or January, everything would have been clarified and closed now, for good or bad."Instead, new documents have suddenly arrived two weeks before the start of the race (the Giro d'Italia). First they let me train like a donkey and then say 'Sorry, please stop and explain'. That's a time-bomb form of justice."

A "time-bomb form of justice"?  Is that like the time I discovered I was blessed with gonorrhea by my ex six months after her credit cards were no longer useful?  What kind of road bike training entails working like a donkey?  The question we really need to ask is where did Mr. Basso learn his English similes and metaphors?  He  truly is a poet.  Lance Armstrong suspended him from the team, although Lance is supporting the Floydster's fight against Chatenay-Malabry lab.  Perhaps Armstrong shares the Chief's view about our swarthy friends from the boot country. -KD


TAGSLANCE ARMSTRONGOUCH MY ENTIRE BODYPOLICE BLOTTER

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