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POWER RANKINGS: IPODS AND CHEER BODS

MAYOR MALLORY NEEDS TO STOP PITCHING

By / 04.06.07

Who works on Mayor Mark Mallory's staff?  Is it a team of chimpanzees that uses a focus group of special ed students?  Step 1: Embarrass yourself with the worst ceremonial first pitch in history.  Step 2: Attempt to rehabilitate image with appearance on national talk show

…by throwing the second-worst ceremonial pitch in history.  How is someone so uncoordinated able to sign his name on bills and laws?  Does he use a big red crayon and just mark an "X"? This guy would have to chop down a redwood with his bare hand in order to get me to vote for him. Then I wouldn't vote for him, because redwoods are some of our most beautiful natural resources.  Don't you agree that these majestic trees have a calming effect? 

Can you tell that I'm sensitive and I love nature?  You wanna make out?  I've been practicing with my stuffed animals.


TAGSCINCINNATI REDSMLB

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