Two bits of ganja-related news today… first up: running back Ricky Williams can't apply for reinstatement in the NFL until September because — yet a-freakin'-gain — he tested positive for marijuana.
Williams was suspended last year for violation of the substance abuse policy and was eligible to be reinstated this month, but the league's medical advisors that oversee Williams' personal rehabilitation program recently notified commissioner Roger Goodell of the positive test, sources said…
"Falling off the wagon is part of rehab," a source said. "Based on the medical evidence in Ricky's case, the doctors say it's too early to come back. He had the positive test last month. Remember, he's been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder — that's a real disease and a good percentage of those folks self-medicate with substances like marijuana, often at the moment they are about to have a high level of social interaction."
Just a thought here: maybe if you can't handle social interaction and need to get high to cope with people, perhaps "star NFL running back" isn't the best career choice.
Pot news story #2: a Detroit man called 911, thinking that a Red Wings playoff victory was part of his pot brownie hallucination. The audio of the call is the best five minutes of my life since the last three times I had sex. That's right, ladies, all this could be yours.