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TONY PARKER ISN’T EVEN A MAN ANY MORE

By / 05.22.07

You may remember that a month ago Tony Parker had to back out of a charity basketball game with Dikembe Mutombo that would have supported a hospital in the Congo, leading to the game's cancellation and, I can only assume, the continuing suffering of the African people.  Why did Parker cancel the game?  His fiancee, Desperate Housewives star the Chupacabra, made him do it because it got in the way of their honeymoon.

Naturally, today we get news that the Longorias' impending honeymoon has been put on hold.  So Parker can play the charity game and save African children?  Nope: because the Chupacabra said so.

The couple will wed in Paris, France on 7 July, but their honeymoon has to wait until after Longoria has honoured her TV commitments. She says, "I'm heading home right after the wedding. We start shooting on 9 July."

Oh yeah, and she's telling the media that they're going to adopt children, probably because it's impossible to give birth without taking those pants off.

UPDATE: I realized after the fact that WWTDD calls Nicole Richie "the Chupacabra."  It's a coincidence: I was just looking for the name of a Mexican demon, and "Eva Longoria" was already taken.


TAGSANOTHER FRENCH SURRENDERAUSTIN COLLIENBA

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