My father and uncles used to bandy about names like Jack Tatum, Ben Davidson and Ted Hendricks when discussing the intimidating play of the old Oakland Raiders. As for me, I've never been frightened by the silver and black (I am terrified of some of their fans however – particularly that guy who wears the Darth Vader mask with the spiked shoulder pads), and here's another reason why:
"The union has complained about the high level of intensity, player aggressiveness and fast pace of our practices and, as a result, has taken away the final week of our offseason program," said [first-year Raider head coach Lane] Kiffin, the NFL's youngest and least experienced head coach.
Massive amounts of cocaine will lead to higher levels of intensity, aggressiveness, and a faster paced lifestyle. What? Is it wrong to assume the whole Raider organization is on drugs? The players' union is probably right in this case, and they're just trying to protect the working-man. Although, I could be wrong; my views on labor relations have changed drastically since my Russian mail-order bride taught me about the "means of production". Plus, it's not like the the Raiders need the extra practice. After all, they've almost won 16 games in four seasons. -KD
(Note: The lovely Danielle Gamba used to be a Raiderette before she reveled her "means of production" – you can see the NSFW pics here.)