Leo Messi, for those of you who don't know, is a young soccer player who is basically the second coming of Christ in Argentina. Or the second coming of Diego Maradona, which is the same thing as "Christ in Argentina," but with a coke habit that would put the '86 Mets to shame.
And now women are hurling themselves out of the stands for a chance to hug him. Chicks powerless to his sex appeal, compelled by irresistible hormones to endanger themselves for a chance to touch a walking, tick-tocking sex bomb. Welcome to my world, Leo. I moved to Brooklyn just because there were too many tall buildings in Manhattan. I care about the ladies' safety.
(Muchas gracias: The Offside)