What to watch for in this weekend's biggest match-ups. Home team in ALL CAPS. All times Eastern
Bills over SAINTS (Friday, 8:00 p.m., CBS) — N'awlins just played the Hall of Fame Game five days ago. Plus preseason games are almost never won by the better team.
CHARGERS over Seahawks (Sunday, 8:00 p.m., NBC) — Holmgren doesn't game-plan in the preseason, and the West Coast offense is always slow to get off the ground.
Sincerity over IRONY — Sarcasm gets fucking old. You should know: you read this site.
Red Sox over ORIOLES — Friendly reminder: Tonight is Dice-K night.
SLEEPING IN over The Premiership — Sorry, soccer. I ain't wakin' up early on the weekend for your ass.
ABSTRACT CONCEPTS over Sporting Events — Because I actually get the abstract concept picks right. Well, most of the time.
…And I'm spent. Have a safe weekend, everybody. Don't share needles, and ESPECIALLY don't share any feelings — that's just begging for disaster. Kevin's got it from here until I'm back on Monday. Be nice to him: he has to spend the weekend in Connecticut.