"WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I scored!!! All right, who's ready for my celebration? I promised entertainment, and you are about to get it! Just as soon as I get over to the sideline! One second. Yep, gotta run over to the bench first. Hold on. Wait a sec. Oh, this is gonna be sweet. Hold on, sometimes it takes a while. Wait for it. Wait. It's about to happen. Just gotta get it out of this trash bag. PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE FAILED EXTRA POINT! Okay. Okay. Okaaaaaaaay…. it's about to happen… NOW. Ta-da! Future Hall of Famer, baby! Wooo! How's that for spur-of-the-moment excitement?"
For those of you interested in things like "scores" and "recaps" (losers), the Bengals survived a hard-hitting, sloppy, and exciting game against the Ravens last night, prevailing 27-20 after a courageous goal-line stand that ended in an interception by diving defensive lineman Michael Myers. This was after the Bengals had held the line for three downs, allowed a Todd Heap touchdown on 4th down that was negated by offensive pass interference, and given the Ravens a fresh set of downs with an illegal contact penalty on the next 4th down play. Much excitement, and very enjoyable if you don't have debilitating heart disease.
The late game provided a similarly exciting finish, but was preceded by 57 minutes of crap. At least that's what the recap of the Niners' 20-17 win over the Cards told me. I sure as hell didn't watch. But hey, Alex Smith was apparently Joe Montana against Arizona for one drive. And whatever they used to call Candlestick Park is now Bill Walsh Field, which I think is nice. Not quite as nice as my abs, but then what is?