Keg-pressing superdrunk Ryan sent in this photo of a Penn State fan's feelings at Saturday night's steamrolling at the hands of Ohio State. I'm not sorry to say that I missed the game, because there's only one weekend a year where it's very nearly legal to wear a mask and jump out of doorways to sexually assault scantily clad women, and I wasn't about to miss it. However, Orson Swindle gives his recap thusly:
Ohio State remains ploddingly, predictably excellent, and it isn’t their fault that no one likes them for it besides the people of the Sovereign People’s Republic of Uzbuckistan. Ohio State’s excellence has transcended the interesting. Losing one game in the past two years will do that to a team, but so will going into a festive, decidedly amped Beaver Stadium and bringing the demo team with you.
If you did watch the game, skip this paragraph unless you’re a Buckeye fan who… can’t get enough masturbatory praise… following a weekend of asskicking in the correct direction. The results of the game never teetered for longer than a suspenseful minute or two in any direction but Ohio State’s. Time of possession: 37 minutes, 52 seconds. This was heavyweight boxing, with efficient and impressive control from minute one.
So Ohio State is pretty good, probably even a deserving #1. Their fans? Still asshats. But, as an olive branch to the Morlocks of Buckeye Nation, I invite them to do something as remotely humorous/marginally witty as this sign, and I'll see if I can't soften my tone. If I learned anything from Rocky IV, it's that we all can change.