Broncos running back Travis Henry tested positive for marijuana, meaning that the league's top rusher and father of nine now faces a one-year suspension (it's his second offense). It also signals the end of Western Civilization. Well, maybe not. But the inhalation of marihuana fumes can be deadly, I've heard. MDS sez:
Newsday is reporting that Henry is suing the NFL to prevent it from using the results of the drug test to suspend him. If the lawsuit fails — and it seems like an incredible long shot — he could also appeal, but the chances are very good that Henry will be suspended for a year, and that the suspension will come soon.
If you legal experts know of a way I can do drugs and then sue my employer for me doing drugs, I'd really appreciate it. Seems like a win-win to me. On the one hand, you get to do drugs. On the other hand, well really I'm just in it for the drugs. And the boners. Hey can I sue someone for giving me a boner? They can be pretty painful sometimes.
Wait, where was I? Boners always distract me. Oh, right. Travis Henry. Anyway, dude, enjoy the year off. You can spend a month with every kid you have and still have three months dedicated solely to unprotected sex. Or just forget the kids and focus on unprotected sex. Yeah, that's probably the better idea.