2 burly representatives of my local independent businessman just reminded me that USC lost to Stanford last night. As they gently and lovingly bent the fingers of my left hand back, I realized that the upset hadn't been a dream. This was the first loss at the Coliseum for the Trojans since 2001, and Stanford achieved the improbable win with a new QB, Tavita Pritchard. Cardinal coach Jim Harbaugh was understated in his praise of his field general:
"I knew he'd come through," Harbaugh said of Pritchard, a 6-foot-4, 200-pound sophomore from Tacoma, Wash., who entered the game having thrown three passes. "From the beginning of the week, he had a bounce in his step. He had a gleam in his eye from Sunday on. We have found a true warrior."
Sounds like Pritchard had a good night a week ago Saturday night. When I have a gleam in my eye and a bounce in my step, it means I had a magical evening with my escort. My good humor usually lasts until I begin experiencing a burning sensation when I urinate. Anyway, Trojan fans were disappointed even before the loss:
Leading 9-0, the Trojans were booed off the field at halftime. "That's football," Booty said. "Expectations are higher here than anywhere else. Heck, inside, I was booing, too. If you don't meet those expectations, you're going to get booed."
Just another excuse for John David Booty to become one of our leading assassins. He already has the 3 names going for him. Sure, you scoff at this theory now, but the logic of my thesis will be irrefutable when Philip Michael Thomas finally takes a pot shot at a politician. -KD
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