Redskins running back Clinton Portis, who once thrilled Internet sports dorks by holding his weekly meetings with the press in costume and character — among the favorites were Coach Janky Spanky and Dolemite Jenkins — is back the way we love him: as someone else. From D.C. Sports Bog:
This is Choo-Choo. Something about him teaching Portis how to dance, and [Santana] Moss how to dance, and [Antwaan] Randle El how to dance. "I taught these boys how to dance," was the gist. A lot of it was unintelligible, and involved jerky dance-like demonstrations and third person referrals to "Clinton Portis," but hey, we'll take it. More on this breaking news later.
Oversize sunglasses? Kabuki-like wig? Flamenco shirt? Goatee? Dance moves??? My God! He's tapped directly into my erotic fantasies!!! That, or a Japanese Olsen twin with a goatee. Which is pretty much the same thing.
UPDATE: The quotes from the press gathering are everything you'd hoped they would be.