'SKID MARKS' AS PLEASANT AS IT SOUNDS
EVERY FANTASY MOVIE EVER MADE

NO THANKS

By 01.10.08

With all the hubbub surrounding the über-crap that is the new American Gladiators, our friends at Maxim have given us a photo gallery of Gina Carano, less unknown by her gladiator name, Crush.  I know that in the 21st century, strong women are supposedly beautiful, but I've always thought of "strong" as "having a job and the right to vote," not "being a 5'8" 140-pound MMA fighter with a specialty in Muay Thai kickboxing."  Potayto, potahto.  

MMA Takedown directs us to her MySpace page, which tells us some of her preferences: 

Books: The Holy Bible

Heroes: JESUS. He is the Ultimate Soldier

You bet your ass he was.  Jesus killed more people than you can possibly imagine.  He was walking death for non-believers, a talented long-range sniper with a taste for the intimate violence of hand-to-hand combat.  True story: he actually strangled Pontius Pilate with his crown of thorns.  It's all right there in the Bible.  Just make sure it's the Marvel Comics edition.  You won't believe the tits on Mary Magdalene.


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