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SUPER BOWL REPORT: WORST VACATION EVER

By 01.31.08

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With Leather editor/patriarch Matt Ufford is in Arizona for Super Bowl festivities.  He will file daily reports from Arizona until at least Monday, February 4th.

Let's retrace my steps here.  Last night, following Will Leitch's reading in Tempe, several of us dorky idiots with blogs went next door to get a couple beers.  I snapped a few candids with my brand new Elph — purchased last weekend because I can't find my previous digital camera — and someone was like, "Hey, nice camera."  And so I'm all, "Thanks, I just got it.  But smart guy that I am, I didn't attach the lanyard, so I'm guessing it'll be two days before it slips out of my hand and it breaks."  Har har har.

Fast forward to today.  Me to myself: "And now to upload all the photos onto my computer…  Hey, where's my camera?"  Where's my camera, indeed.  Fuck if I know.  Guess I should have attached that lanyard.  And maybe I'd remember where I left it if I hadn't had those five or six Maker's Marks when I got back to the hotel.  I suck at life.

So yeah, little Matty's a little too depressed and pissed off to write up a full report of the last 24 hours.  But I will say this: the people of Arizona are exceedingly nice.  I had a business lunch in Gilbert today — that's a suburb southeast of Phoenix — and as I arrived at the house, a guy walking down the street gave me a friendly wave.  There are 8 million people in New York, and no two of them have waved at each other so far this year.  But drive into a subdivision in Arizona, and people are like, "Hey look!  A person has entered my neighborhood!  Hello!"

But it wasn't just one guy.  Yesterday in a coffee shop, I got up to leave, and the two old women sitting next to me said, "Have a nice day!"  Then I walked outside, and I saw a piece of notebook paper under my windshield wiper.  I had parked next to this big-ass truck that had taken up its entire parking spot, so my parking job had spilled over into an extra space — I don't want to return a rental car with dents in the door, you know?  So after the truck left, I probably looked like an asshole who had parked carelessly.  And here was this piece of paper, scribbled by someone who wanted to let me know what an asshole I was.  I pulled the leaf of paper off the windshield and unfolded it.

Please be courteous and park inside the lines!

Best thing that's happened to me so far this trip.  Not that that's saying much.


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