In its continuing effort to show the rest of the world how great China is — and not at all dictatorial, nope, hahaha… ARREST THAT MAN!!! — new Chinese technologies will be used all over the Olympic Games this summer. For example, Beijing will briefly halt the operation of all the factories that give the city just about the worst air quality in the world and power the Olympic Village with solar power. Because they totally care about the environment!
I'm concerned about something more sinister, however. Remember the new Olympic mascots? They'll be there… in robot form.
Last but not least are the Fuwa robots. Developed by the Chinese Academy of Science, these robots can communicate with tourists in different languages.
Oh no you don't, China. I won't stand for this. There's only one way to properly enjoy a mascot, and that's by stuffing a disgruntled employee inside a creepy furry suit. I mean, sure, it's possible that the robots will be nice — just like it's possible that AIDS won't kill you. I'm just saying, disgruntled employees in furry suits aren't going to use an international sporting event to take over the world and turn us all into slaves.