"Unconfirmed Reports" - The Wire Season 5
NICK SWARDSON, DAVID SPADE ARE FUNNY

THE REAL REASON THE COWBOYS LOST

By / 01.14.08

If I tried to use my brain to figure out why the Cowboys lost to the Giants yesterday, I probably would have come up with some combination of dropped passes, missed tackles, and sloppy special teams play.  But that just shows how dumb I am, because the bastion of journalism that is the New York Post revealed Dallas's real downfall.

Even a fake Jessica Simpson was good enough to throw off the Dallas Cowboys yesterday, as Big Blue took a Giant step toward the Super Bowl. The Giants, who notched a stunning 21-17 victory over Dallas in the NFC Divisional Playoffs, had a good-luck charm in the stands – in the form of Simpson lookalike Lynsey Nordstrom…

Simpson – nicknamed "Yoko Romo" by some superstitious Cowboys fans – didn't show up yesterday, but The Post brought Nordstrom, a beautiful, 21-year-old nanny from Bothell, Wash., to Texas Stadium. We sat her in the third row at the 50-yard line behind Dallas' bench. The stunner's Simpson-esque vibes must have made the difference – Romo's final drive was stopped short of the end zone. You're welcome, New York!

That is absolutely flawless logic.  Call off the Pulitzers, the competition is over.


TAGSdipshitsiPadsNFLTONY ROMO

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