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JONATHAN PAPELBON IS WICKED SMAHT

HOMETOWN HOTTIES LOVE SPORTS

By / 02.26.08

With yesterday's unveiling of Maxim's 2008 Hometown Hotties contest, I immediately asked myself one question: how many of them are professional cheerleaders?  The answer, sadly, is just one: the lovely Jaclyn,  whom you can see front and center on the Nets Dancers home pageRebecca from Manassas gets partial points for being a Redskins cheerleader in 2003 and 2004, but that's it on the cheerleading front.  So I expanded my query: which hotties had connections to sports?

Yes, I did the unthinkable: I read all 100 interviews with the hometown hotties to see which of the girls were athletes or had a good sports story to tell.  And before you go thinking that that's good idea, try to picture 100 women telling you about their piercings and tattoos.  I lost a lotta good brain cells reading these:

  • Nina: [answering "What's the most unusual place you've ever hooked up?"]  "On a gymnastic bus! All the neat equipment helped us perform our gymnastics alright!"  Neat!
  • Brenda"I mastered seduction but that comes natural. I also was a cheerleader back in High School. So, that makes me really flexible and, yes, I still stretch every day. And I have no gag reflex… I had a threesome for the first time with this famous boxer. Yes, it was everything I dreamed about. The other girl was gorgeous–blonde hair, blue eyes and an ass for days. I can appreciate gorgeous ladies but I don't consider myself bi. I was just curious so I gave it a try and it was great." Good story: "I'm not bi, just kind of a slut."
  • Sarah: "I can probably throw a football spiral better than most guys."
  • Andrea: [answering "What's the most unusual place you've ever hooked up?"] "The National Fishing Hall of Fame. Um, it was great." HOTT!!!
  • Kelly: Kelly posed in Fox gear and talked about her love of dirt bikes.  Also, she seems like one of the worst people in the entire world.  She's like Pol Pot in hot pants.
  • Brooke: "I hold the 3-point record at my high school with five in one game."  Yeah, you're practically Boobie Gibson.
  • Krystal: "I was a speed skater for 10 years… So how tight is my ass?"  Answer: by the looks of it, pretty tight.
  • Jennifer: "I threw a beer at a friend in Fenway Park, but hit about 12 other people by accident. I was pulled out by security and left on the side of the road so I pulled up a milk crate next to a bum and had an intelectual [sic] conversation until the cops came to bring me home." Now, this may surprise some people, but Jennifer said her favorite team is the Red Sox.
  • Shannon: Shannon's football roots include playing for the New York Euphoria in the Lingerie Bowl.
  • Star: "I roller skated competetively as a child and now I'm a personal trainer so I have solid legs and a killer ass. I work out like crazy and just push myself to look as hot as I possibly can."  What an amazing role model for young women.

That's about it.  And for anyone keeping count, there were not one but two women who listed their favorite team as the "Red Soxs."  Well played, Massachusetts.


TAGSMISCELLANYWHERE THE WHITE WOMEN AT?

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