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WEEKEND PREVIEW

MAN CHICKENS OUT ON SUPER BOWL MASSACRE

By / 02.08.08

An Arizona man named Kurt Havelock surrendered to police on Sunday and admitted to plotting a massacre at the Super Bowl as revenge against the Tempe City Council, which had denied him a liquor license when they learned of his intent to call the bar "Drunkenstein's."  He bought an AR-15 (a civilian version of the M-16) and wrote up an 8-page manifesto and everything.

In October, Havelock went before the City Council to seek support for a liquor license. But the council recommended denial after an Internet blog by Havelock stated the restaurant would be named "Drunkenstein's" and not "The Haunted Castle," as the application stated…

In the manifesto, he said the original site of the planned massacre was Phoenix's Desert Ridge Marketplace, which abuts Scottsdale, but that "scum and villainy" are in Scottsdale [Ed. Note: So Scottsdale is Mos Eisley?] and so instead he "will shed the blood of the innocent." … Havelock stated in his letter that he could not "outvote, outspend, outtax, or outincarcerate my enemies. But for a brief moment I can outgun them."

I was ready to make fun of this guy, but I admit, I kind of admire that last line about outgunning your enemies.  Still, one assault rifle does not a massacre make.  You figure he can't get in the Super Bowl with an M-16, so he'd have to shoot people outside, and the sight lines at University of Phoenix Stadium are poor, which means you can't maximize the weapon's standoff potential.  No, if you were looking to kill large numbers of people and create mass hysteria at the Super Bowl XLII, the better investment would be a series of pipe bombs around the stadium.

…is what I would say as a military professional making a risk assessment, ha ha.  I would never plan to kill a large number of YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME, PITTSBURGH!  Oops, ignore that typo.

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