Hey, pitchers and catchers are reporting soon! Time for some baseball news!
The estranged wife of Los Angeles Dodgers coach Don Mattingly was arrested and charged with public intoxication and disorderly conduct after police say she refused to leave his property in Indiana. Police arrested 45-year-old Kim Mattingly after they were called to the home of the former Yankee first baseman to investigate reports of a person refusing to leave on Saturday, a probable cause affidavit said.
That's fucking awesome! So if my wife's being a relentless pain in the ass, I can just call the cops?
The couple filed for divorce in November on the grounds of irreconcilable differences. The divorce has not been finalized, and no further action has been taken.
Kim Mattingly told investigators that Don Mattingly had taken her phone and she wanted it back, the affidavit said. Police spoke to Mattingly, who said he did not have the phone.
Great fucking police work there, fellas. Do you have it? No. Okay, have a nice day. Jesus fucking shit, why do people in Indiana even pay taxes? And irreconcilable differences? Isn't that code for "getting caught fucking the babysitter on the kitchen table?" I should have been a cop. They have laptops in police cruisers now, don't they?
- Monday Morning Punter