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THE MUMMY SOMETHING SOMETHING DRAGONS

LEGLESS RUNNER TO BOUND FOR GOLD

By 05.16.08

Oscar Pistorius, a 21-year-old South African double amputee sprinter, won his appeal to compete in the Beijing Olympics this summer. It was alleged that his prosthetic legs gave him an unfair advantage. That and they look like the legs from the creepy sentient robot dog. It's becoming self-aware!

The Court of Arbitration for Sport ruled today that Pistorius is eligible to race against able-bodied athletes, overturning a ban by the IAAF, track and field's governing body, which said carbon fiber prosthetic blades are more efficient than human legs and therefore give him an unfair mechanical advantage.

Naturally, this is a towering victory for half-men, half-robots who wish to take part in our machine-prejudiced games of skill. Onward, Mega Man, Darth Vader and Steve Austin.  

Couldn't they have convinced Pistorius to switch to cheese racing? Unless he's not some crazy cheese-melty beam in those robot legs. In which case, I wasn't using my left leg anyway.


TAGSOLYMPICSOscar PistoriusRUNNING

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