I'm not sure if I'm allowed to claim that Mariah Carey is retarded. Will I get sued? 'Cause getting sued BLOWS. So, I confess: I do not have a doctor's written report that she has a birth defect that led to physical disability, and I don't have a photo of her parking her car in a handicapped space.
On the other hand, there's this video of her throwing out the first pitch at a pro game in Tokyo. And let's be honest, this says RETARDED way more conclusively than any MRI. I feel pretty good about this if it goes to court.