MENA SUVARI IS ALL ABOUT REALISM
The General...

SPELLERS SHOWING SIGNS OF H-U-M-A-N-I-T-Y

By / 05.30.08

Yup, it's another spelling bee post that has nothing to do with Erin Andrews, who lives both in awe of these little idiot savants and in the fear of the fact that they may correct her on air. That's much worse than Bruce Pearl groping her while cameras are rolling.

Dan Steinberg, who works for some faded newspaper that just underwent a huge round of buyouts, is on the scene at the Grand Hyatt in D.C. getting all the colorful anecdotes and tidbits that the little overparented freaks produce. In his wanderings, Agent Baldiepants stumbled upon the board where the spellers are trying to organize late-night soccer orgies and dates with Mark Foley.

There's a big bulletin board outside the ballroom on which spellers can send and receive messages. Many of the posted items are entreaties from news organizations for interviews with all spellers from Minnesota, for example, or with a specific speller from a specific city. Others are speller-to-speller missives.

There are the wonders of access, future wage slaves of the MSM: Scribbling entreaties to 4th graders on notebook paper.

I like how the kid had to draw a picture of the soccer ball on the notice, however. Because these kids don't understand the meanings of words, which exist only as peculiar permutations of letters they must memorize so as not to get beaten by their first-generation immigrant parents.


TAGSMISCELLANYSCRIPPS NATIONAL SPELLING BEE

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