NEWSPAPER PUTS ALI DOWN FOR THE COUNT
THIS TAKES BALLS. BIG, STUPID BALLS

NBA FINALS PREVIEW THINGAMAJIG

By / 06.04.08

The NBA Finals begin tonight tomorrow (Note: I though today was Thursday.  Gotta stop drinking at work) in Boston, and we're not particularly excited, but we're not totally apathetic, either.  Ape and I — like most two-bit prognosticators — think the Lakers will take it in five.  To round out the With Leather staff predictions, 289 responded to my inquiry thusly: "The NBA blows."  Duly noted.

For those of you who don't hail from either Boston, Los Angeles, or a family of pussies that allowed its children to become bandwagon twats, you may be undecided in your rooting interests, so here's a quick breakdown in determining for whom you're going to cheer.  C'monnnnnn METEOR!

BOSTON CELTICS Pros: Core group of Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, and Kevin Garnett are all "nice guys" who "deserve" a championship, whatever that means.  They play tough, defense-first basketball without being Detroit Bad Boys-dirty.  Kelly green much easier on the eyes than yellow and purple.  Cons: A team assembled by Danny Ainge and coached by Doc Rivers would be an insult to innumerable people who are actually good at their jobs.  A-list poseurs sit courtside.  Douchebag fans only like the team when it wins.

LOS ANGELES LAKERSPros: Kobe Bryant is the best basketball player since Michael Jordan, and like Jordan he's attained a mystique where it's possible to cheer for him even though he's a cold, calculating asshole.  Technically, they're underdogs.  They play a more exciting, pass-happy style of basketball.  Cons: Kobe Bryant is a cold, calculating asshole who doesn't deserve a free pass after the Colorado rape case.  L.A. is a smoggy hellhole filled with vapid selfish douches.  Phil Jackson doesn't deserve to beat Red Auerbach's record.  A-list poseurs sit courtside.  Douchebag fans only like the team when it wins. 

Your picks and vitriol in the comments, please. 


TAGSBOSTON CELTICSLA LAKERSNBA

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