ANOTHER REASON GOD HATES YOU
EXCLUSIVO: 4 FAST 4 FURIOUS SET PICS

ONE-ARMED SURFER NOW HOT, LEGAL

By / 06.11.08

Bethany Hamilton's story is well-known: as a young teen, she was attacked by a shark while surfing, resulting in the loss of her left arm.  The remarkable part, though, is that this in no way deterred her from continuing her surfing career.  Now 18, Bethany's looking to build herself as a brand name and make the jump to the pro circuit.

Today, Bethany has lost her braces, gained composure before a camera and sprouted to a willowy 5 feet 11. She's a solid contender in international pro surfing contests and presides — with her family's help — over a thriving cottage industry that includes books, videos, inspirational speaking engagements and cosmetics…

Bethany nicknamed what remains of her left arm "Stumpy." The stump is too short to operate a working prosthesis, so Bethany early on decided there was no use to a fake arm. She's comfortable in tank tops or bathing suits and as a result, people are comfortable around her.

Christmas Ape and I argued a little about who would get to write about this story. I asked him what his angle would be, and he said, "Hey sharks: This half-eaten morsel still has plenty of meat on it. And she's just asking for it. Remember: there's no five-second rule in the ocean."  And I admit, I was kind of amazed.  I hadn't considered the possibility of another angle besides amputee sex.  I mean, she is legal. 

Oh, so I'm the pervert, huh?  Well I've had just about enough of your Puritanical bias against amputee fetishes, mister!

[Sports by Brooks


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