This elaborate unveiling of soccer uniforms (fine, fine: kits) comes to us from Bayern Munich, aka Bayern München, aka The Adventures of Bayern Munchausen. And I don't want to spoil anything, but if you hate soccer and Germans — and most Americans do — this isn't going to improve your view of either.
I just don't know how team officials arrived at this monstrosity. "We need to show off the new kits." "How about a fashion show?" "That's a terrible idea." "How about a fashion show… with choreography!?" "NOW you're talking!"