AL – When the Rays inevitably collapse into a cloud of Florida tackiness and Ybor City binges, they can point to this moment as the clear high water mark of their season, having completed the season's second sweep of the Red Sox last night in the Trop. Why, no one's swept the Sox twice in a season since the '01 Yankees and they went on … to lose the World Series. Evan Longoria had three hits and 3 RBIs as the Tampa held off a late Boston rally to win 7-6… Yankees respond to Hank Steinbrenner's shrill cry for more offense and broken marriage, put up 18 on the Rangers after scoring three runs during their first two losses in the series…Someone blinked and missed the Tigers stint above .500. Last night, the three Twins pitchers combined for a five-hit shutout of Detroit, winning Minny's 13th of the last 15 games…The White Sox are walkoff winners again in extra frames. Joe Buck doesn't appreciate the drawn out games… Halos win the rubber match against Athletics, thanks in part to back-to-back homers from Juan Rivera and Erick Aybar. And K-Rod picked up his 34th save, tying John Smoltz 2003 pre-All-Star Game record!!!!!!!ZOMFG MANG!!
NL – The slugging prowess of Mike Fontenot propels the Cubbies to a 6-5 win over the Giants. His third homer in eight games put Chicago up for good in the 8th. Meanwhile the team prepares to welcome back Carlos Zambrano and Reed Johnson AND OH MY GOD NO ONE CAN STOP THEM OR JINX THEM! IT'S THEIR YEAR!…Troy Glaus hit two roundtrippers, including one of the walkoff variety (because that never happens to the Mets bullpen), giving the Cards an 8-7 win…Ryan Howard drives in three runs, commit two errors and eats five pounds of wings in the Phillies' 7-3 win over the Braves. Say, that mechanical cow looks tasty.
Tedious transactional stuff - Brett Favre dismisses this week's rumor of a comeback, planted the seed for next week's. Peter King's balls somewhere near cerulian… Marian Hossa signs a one-year deal with the team that beat the Pens in the Stanley Cup Finals, goes back for a third serving at the all-you-can-eat buffet of dicks… but the Pens keep Evgeni Malkin. So my homerisn-fueled killing spree won't be so bad.