STEVEN SODERBERGH HATES SUBTITLES
VIGGO MORTENSEN IS A NAZI

RECORD FISH CAUGHT WITH BARBIE POLE

By 08.25.08

Pictured here is David Hayes, the North Carolina man who caught a record-setting 21-pound channel catfish with his granddaughter's Barbie fishing pole, a two-foot-long pink rod, which also happens to be how that girl described my penis to police.

When 3-year-old Alyssa went to take a bathroom break, Hayes was left in charge.  And that's when General Sherman struck.  After an epic battle, the state Wildlife Commission was called in to verify the record.

[Biologist Kin] Hodges' professional opinion of the fish: "It was just a pig." At 32 inches long and 22½ inches around, it was longer and nearly bigger around than the length of the rod that caught it.

"He thought it was funny more than anything," Hodges said. "He was just amazed at the size of the fish he caught on that little kiddie rod. If you would have told anybody that you could catch a fish like that on this rod, they'd have laughed at you."

I can't wait to email this story to my parents.  See, Dad?  There's nothing wrong with a grown man playing with Barbies.  Maybe he'll speak to me at Thanksgiving this year!

(photo: N.C. Wildlife Resources Commission; also see: Lion in Oil


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