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THE OLYMPICS STARTED! YOU CAN’T WATCH YET

By / 08.08.08

China: invented this shit

Olympics — Sorry everyone, you already missed the opening ceremonies.  President Bush was there (along with 91,000 other people in the Bird’s Nest), becoming the first U.S. president to attend an Olympics in another country.  That should save his legacy.  The good news is that NBC will play the ceremony tonight at 7:30, meaning you have plenty of time after work to get high in preparation.  For those of you already high: check out the photo gallery.

NFL — On Sunday Night Football on Thursday, the Jets rallied to beat the Browns, scoring two touchdowns against the sixth-team defense in the final quarter, as He Who Shall Not Be Named watched from the sidelines… Both Super Bowl participants lost their preseason openers, while Eli Manning looked notably sloppy.  Get that kid outta New York!  He’s never gonna make the leap!

MLB — Mike Mussina won his AL-best 15th game, while Raul Ibanez (walkoff HR in the 9th) is still insanely hot.  Need more baseball?  Get bent.


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