Four members of the U.S.'s indoor cycling team arrived in Beijing wearing protective masks the other day, somehow causing a stir in the press. Call this a hunch, but the masks may have had something to do with Beijing looking like this and even having pollution indoors.
In what has to be one of the biggest dick moves in Olympic history, the U.S. Olympic Committee apologized to the Chinese for the cyclists' actions — even though the USOC designed the masks, distributed them, and instructed American athletes to wear them.
"It wasn't the best judgment [on the cyclists' part]," said Jim Scherr, CEO of the USOC. "The athletes understand that now."
What a cockamamie load of horse shit. Hey China, you want an apology? Sorry your country has fiberglass in the air. Sorry your citizens all smoke to get a refreshing break from the normal air. Sorry you bitches get butt-hurt about your disgusting amounts of pollution.
If anyone reading this is in China, feel free to take an American flag and choke the shit out of Jim Scherr or USOC Chairman Peter Ueberroth with it. The practice may have fallen out of fashion since the Cold War ended, but Americans will still cheer for gruesome vigilantism towards communist turncoats.