FULL LENGTH W TRAILER
BILL MURRAY'S MONOLOGUE FROM THE FUTURE

BAD. ASS.

By / 09.25.08

You’d think that as a heavily tattooed boxer with a mohawk, cruiserweight Juan Carlos Robles would be maxed out on badass cred.  Well, not quite.  Robles wears a necklace… made from his own finger. THAT HE CUT OFF HIMSELF.

Following a 2007 motorcycle wreck that left him with a broken kneecap, fractured forearm, and dislocated elbow, Robles didn’t have the insurance coverage to amputate a pinkie finger that was mangled by road rash…

So he went home, put towels over the kitchen table and blocked off a working area with several two-by-fours. He put gauze around the area and twisted soldering wire around his right pinkie to slow the flow of blood.

“Then I put a wood chisel on it and dropped a 15-pound weight on the chisel,” Robles said. “The piece shot out about six feet like a missile.”

Well hold on just a second.  Before you go thinking that’s the coolest thing you’ve ever heard, wait for me to tell my story.  You see, one time I had a zit inside my nostril.  I knew it was going to hurt, but a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.  Long story short, that’s a very sensitive area, and it’s natural for the body to react by producing tears.

[Deadspin]


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