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DRUNK JUMPER SOON TO BE DRUNK BUM

By / 09.11.08

Ivan Ukhov, a high jumper who appeared staggering and falling through a jump in a YouTube video that circulated last week, could be banned for the sport for up to a year.

His less-than-graceful attempt at the opening height was a hit on YouTube, but Ivan Ukhov could be for the high jump after disgracing himself at last week’s Grand Prix in Lausanne.

The young high jumper was told by officials to pull out of the competition because he was drunk. The Russian athletics federation will discuss his case later this month, and he could face a one-year ban.

Valentin Maslakov, Russia’s head coach, said: “By competing in such a condition, he has disgraced all Russian track and field athletes. I will ask our federation to suspend Ukhov for a year.”

Wait, a Russian has actually gotten in trouble for being drunk? What is the world coming to? Isn’t that their natural state of being? Before you know it, it won’t be acceptable for them to live in abject misery. They’re losing their national character!


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