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MONDAY SUCK-OFF: ICE-COLD SUCKING

By / 12.08.08

Ahhhh, Pittsburgh. Don’t ever change.

With the playoff picture slowly coming into focus, the number of teams that suck every week grows ever larger.  But I’d like to pay special tribute this week to a trio of teams who have sucked all season, week in and week out.  Consider:

  • The Bengals lost 35-3 to the Colts, the second straight week in which a field goal gave them their only points.  Cincinnati averages a mere 11.8 points per game, dead last in the NFL.  And Marvin Lewis’s job is safe?
  • The second-worst scoring team in the NFL?  The Rams, at 13.0 PPG.  They fell 34-10 to the Cardinals, which is the modest kind of blowout you might expect.  Arizona’s defense (two TDs) outscored the Rams.  Ugh.
  • And the Lions.  Oh, the Lions.  It takes a special kind of team to take the one game on their schedule they can feasibly win, knock the opposing starting quarterback out of the game, take a lead into the 4th quarter… then allow Tarvaris Jackson to engineer a comeback.  Lions lose, 20-16.  It’s kind of beautiful, in a way.

There are other shitty teams in the NFL.  The Chiefs’ and Seahawks’ records are just as bad as the Rams’.  The Bills looked like ass again as their epic meltdown continues.  Oakland is a GD mess.  But all those teams show flashes of promise, glimmers of hope.

I can’t think of another season where three teams have been this bad — just total cesspools of crapitude and surefire wins for opponents.  The Lions will get all the attention for going winless, but let’s not overlook the historic shittiness of their counterparts.  Bravo, Detroit, St. Louis, and Cincy: you suck.


TOPICS#NFL
TAGSCINCINNATI BENGALSdetroit lionsST LOUIS RAMS

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