Astute readers will notice that I awesomely didn’t cover last week’s Cowboys drama (aka Werdergate) because I can’t stand ESPN-manufactured non-stories. However, I am powerless to resist the siren song of birthday party drama. Yes, even though Terrell Owens made nice with his maybe-alleged conspirators Tony Romo and Jason Witten on TV after Sunday night’s win, Romo and Witten were no-shows at T.O.’s birthday party (which raised money for charity) on Monday night.
Actor Will Smith sent a special birthday message, and rapper Ludacris was expected to perform at midnight. Owens was given the official key to the city of Dallas by city officials [Ed. note: ????].
However, considering the events of the last week… the headliners Monday night were his teammates and coaches. Romo, who is suffering from a back injury sustained against the Giants, was a no-show at press time, along with Witten, who is also nursing injuries.
OMIGOD OMIGOD!!! Guys! Jason and Tony totally had their own secret party with Jessica Simpson and, like, other famous people? And then T.O. said they weren’t there because he didn’t invite those bitches, but then Jason and Tony were all like whatever, we woudn’t want to go to your stupid party anyway. Totally. I so cannot wait to see who got voted to the Prom Bowl.