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THE SUCKIEST BUNCH OF SUCKS TO EVER SUCK

By / 12.29.08

WOW.  Christmas came three days late this year.  Yesterday was, without a doubt, the single awesomest week of games in NFL regular season history.  To wit:

  • The Cowboys needed to win to get in the playoffs.  They were instead humiliated by the Eagles, 44-6.
  • The Broncos, having already blown most of a three-game lead with three weeks to play, needed to win to make the playoffs.  They were blown out by the Chargers, who by the way were 4-8 a month ago (sexy and sulky screencaps from Sunday Night Football, courtesy KSK, after the jump).
  • The Jets needed to win for a chance at the playoffs.  Instead, Brett Favre awesomely threw three interceptions (including a pick-6) as discarded Chad Pennington and the Dolphins grabbed the AFC East title.  Favre had a 2:9 TD-INT ratio during the Jets’ late-season collapse in which they lost four out of five after unseating the Titans’ unbeaten season.  (UPDATE: Eric Mangini fired. Because he was the one who cut Pennington for Favre, you know.) Even better…
  • …the Jets’ loss ensured that the Patriots, finishing at 11-5, will miss the postseason.  Half of the teams playing next week in the Wild Card round have records worse than the Patriots.  And do you want to know why, Boston?  Why a just God would allow such an unfair thing to happen?  It’s because you people are assholes. It’s your own fault, really.
  • Bonus sucking: The Buccaneers, once playoff locks at 9-3, finished the season by losing four straight games after defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin said he’d join his son at Tennessee next year.  Makes me feel pretty good about my team sucking ALL year.

But there’s only one team that could possibly garner Week 17 honors in the Monday Morning Suck-Off.

Congratulations, Detroit Lions.  An 0-16 season from the worst professional football team ever is truly Matt Millen’s crowning achievement.  It took him eight years of building shitty football teams to finally get it just right, and he really nailed it on his way out.  **kisses fingers** I’m actually kind of jealous of Lions fans.  That’s the kind of suffering you can really wear as a badge of honor.

Speaking of suffering, you can find way more Jay Cutler sad faces here.











TAGSCHEERLEADERSdetroit lionsMONDAY MORNING SUCK-OFFNFL

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