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TITO SANTANA IS BADASS, PANTSLESS

By / 02.23.09

If you grew up during the 80s and watched any professional wrestling at all, then you know who Tito Santana is. In fact, that name probably fires off a bunch of happy synapses in your brain, like when you think about the first time you saw real breasts or stole money from your dad. The New York Times wanted to find a real-life equivalent to Mickey Rourke’s washed-up character from The Wrestler (which got jobbed at the Oscars last night). But at age 55, Tito is still wrestling, and still humping along:

He works out, is in great shape and still does a dozen matches a year. “I enjoy it,” he said. At [a] recent Brooklyn event, he set up his briefcase at a table in the back of the hall beforehand, selling hundreds of dollars of Tito paraphernalia, including autographed photos for $10.[...]

Before going out, the wrestlers were examined by Dr. John Sayad, a cardiologist, whose eyes widened when he read Mr. Santana’s blood pressure: 110 over 84. “You’re the coolest one here,” the cardiologist said.

It’s pretty amazing what one guy can do with his life when he stays away from cocaine, alcohol, steroids, meth, whores, and brushes with law enforcement. It’s almost boring. I’m glad I don’t have to blog about guys like this all day. Thank goodness for cocaine, alcohol, steroids, meth, whores, and brushes with law enforcement.

ASYLUM POLL: Does The Wrestler give wrestling a bad name?


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