URGE. TO KILL... RISING!
WHAT'S ON TONIGHT: 'TOSH.0' SEASON FINALE

JUST GIVE TIGER THE TROPHY NOW

By 08.13.09

Tiger Woods is already leading the PGA Championship after shooting a five-under-par 67 today, and that’s good enough for me. Honestly, I don’t see the point in making a whole weekend out of these tournaments. When you have a “championship” every week, the concept seems to be diluted just a bit.

Even when Tiger wins five tournaments in a season, people flip out when he hasn’t won a major, like they’re scolding the kid that honestly forgot to brush his teeth one night. YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DO THIS ALL THE TIME! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU! It’s still fascinating that the citizens of Cablinasia are (a) so disappointed whenever Tiger falters, and (b) equally overjoyed when he doesn’t. It’s the same level of joy that was felt when your dad cut ass at the dinner table. When Tiger wins, we want him to do it again, and he rarely disappoints.

But that Phil Mickelson? Well, his wife got cancer, and we still hate that asshole. For so long has Mickelson been anointed the Great White Hope that could give Tiger a challenge week after week. Not so much. But Padraig Harrington, who was rushed into defeat last week if you believe Tiger’s side of the argument, stands poised to give Woods another run. And that’s nice. Cute, really. But we know how this is going to end. So just give Tiger the PGA trophy now, his one major for the year, and then get ready for football.


TAGSGOLFPADRAIG HARRINGTONPGAPHIL MICKELSONTIGER WOODS

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