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TIM TEBOW GOT HIS BRAIN CIRCUMCISED

By 09.27.09

POW! Right in the kisser! POW! Right in the kisser! POW! Right in the kisser!

Tim Tebow got knockeddafuggout in the 3rd quarter of Florida’s 41-7 thrashing of Kentucky last night after receiving a deliciously vicious hit from Kentucky defensive end Taylor Wyndham. To add insult to injury, so to speak, Tebow’s fall from the whiplash-inducing shot was broken by teammate Marcus Gilbert’s knee. Tebow was already suffering from flu-like symptoms and was seen vomiting as medical personnel carted him off the field.

Florida head coach Urban Meyer was shaken after the game when he spoke about his pious quarterback going down.

“It’s like my son,” Meyer said. “Imagine your son lying on the ground. My knees were shaking.” via.

Hey there, Coach Meyer, the only one that can claim Tebow is like a son to him is God, and when he saw Tebow get drilled, even he said, “Goddamn!” which is weird when you think about it. Thinking about God watching football made me think of something: I bet he (or “she” for you feminists) has an awesome home theater setup. Plasma? Pshaw. God’s rocking the magma screen.

Sure, lots of other compelling stories came out of yesterday’s football action, but that’s not important right now. How can anyone think of anything besides the well-being of the Holy Tebow? I can’t, that’s for sure.

Ultimately, I’m sure Tebow will be fine and will miraculously be resurrected for Florida’s next game, October 10th against LSU. Although one has to wonder if his concussion will have any long-term, residual effects on Tebow. Wouldn’t it be something if Tebow’s personality was radically altered because of his injury, like a modern day Phineas Gage? If that was the case, look out, comely Florida coeds – we might have a strange case of a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde kind of scenario developing. Post-concussion Tebow may have only one thing on his mind: sweet, sweet SEC poon.


TAGSBrain DamageCIRCUMCISION JOKESFLORIDA GATORStim tebow

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