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TED WILLAMS’ HEAD IS BLOGGING NOW

By 10.06.09

It’s not every day that I’m at a loss for words, but this latest development on FOXSports, who apparently has hired Ted Williams’ frozen head to preview the MLB playoffs.

But I have to say, do you have any idea what kind of ribbing a guy would have taken in my day if his name was Pujols? We’d have never let up. We’d have been chirping on that top step all day long. Or at least until he hit one of his 450-foot rockets into the upper deck.

Guess it could be worse. I played with a guy named Mike Higgins who we called Pinky. Imagine if Pujols’ teammates did that. Pinky Pujols.

Good thing the guy is the best player in baseball.

And he’ll have a whole lot more success against those Dodger rag arms than Torre’s boys will have against Carpenter and Wainwright.

Sorry to make what you lame-ass sportswriters do look so easy, but it sure ain’t as tough as squaring up a round ball with a round bat or reeling in a 130-pound tarpon or flying a combat mission.

I never did care for you hacks. But now I got bigger enemies. Right here in the lab.

And when I get put back together, thawed out and reanimated, someone’s in for a beating. via, via.

I don’t know whether to start laughing my ass off or recoil in horror at what a bizarre lapse in decorum FOXSports has shown us here. A lot of times, bloggers will blast big media for doing stuff like this, but we do stuff like this all the time over at KSK [though, never with just a fraction of a person’s anatomy, though Drew Brees’ birthmark was “this close” to becoming his own character]. This really is brilliant, and this will be one of the only MLB previews I read in its entirety. And whoever hired the guy that wrote this, please send us an email. I’m sure Charles Haley’s penis would make a great columnist in your rotation.


TOPICS#MLB
TAGSCRYOGENICS AND OTHER VOODOO 'SCIENCE'Foxted williams

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