ACTUAL PREMISE: RETARDED CHURCH ORPHAN MMA FIGHTER
JAY LENO IS STILL AWFUL

DIRK POPS OFF 29 IN ONE QUARTER

By / 11.04.09

Dallas Mavericks big man Dirk Nowitzki is a rampaging beast! No, really, look at that ugly dude. He looks like a sasquatch after a body wax and Atkins. But the Abominable Dirkman found his groove in the fourth quarter against the Jazz, dropping 29 in the last period to pull off a 96-85 win against the mighty Mormans.

Nowitzki broke the franchise record of 24 points in any quarter set by Mark Aguirre against Denver on March 24, 1984.

“It was an ugly game,” Nowitzki said. “We couldn’t get anything going for three quarters. We were slow. We were looking for a spark offensively and I was able to do that tonight.”

Yes, Dirk, it was an ugly game. That’s your kind of game. Though you may not have the natural looks to lure a woman into a Colorado hotel room, your presence in the paint last night was a penetrating force all its own. You made it look so easy that a caveman could do it.

Other NBA news: Boston is still undefeated and Allen Iverson is pissed about playing time. Also, water is wet and the sky is blue.


TAGSdallas mavericksDIRK NOWITZKINBAUTAH JAZZ

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