So this is what has happened to America. It was only a matter of time before the women of South Florida, disgruntled with all the girly stuff that guys are doing now, like not paying for dates, peeing sitting down and showering every day. Now they’ve started turning to each other for affection. But aspiring lesbians isn’t nearly as big a sign of the apocalypse as the fact that these progressive princesses are wearing Dan Marino jerseys. Marino played his last game when they were, what, eight years old? I can’t believe they let people do that sort of thing in public. It’s disgusting. –Fins Nation, via @thegreatbarstoolio.