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FIGJAMMIN’: NOTES FROM THE MASTERS

By 04.12.10

Sunday capped off an impressive day of golf at The Masters, one that saw that one guy that doesn’t cut his hair win his third green jacket at Augusta National. But Phil Mickelson, who was in Sunday’s final pairing with that other guy that choked away the lead, wasn’t the day’s only shining star.

  • Korean-looking American Anthony Kim and actual Korean K.J. Choi fired a 65 and 69, respectively. Choi, who was paired with Tiger Woods on Sunday, had a chance to get surge up the leaderboard but had trouble with his putts. That’s interesting since over the last five months, we’ve learned that Tiger also had issues with his putz.
  • No, seriously, Choi looked anything but comfortable heading up the back nine, playing like a guy who was about to be assassinated by Kim Jong-il at any given time. Still, Kim and Choi finished third and fourth, respectively, which is a lot better than the Polish president did this weekend.
  • Fred Couples, age 50, fell out of contention early Sunday and finished the day at two under. He took sixth.
  • Tiger’s bizarre three putt on 14, where he missed a hasty four-footer, took away what chance he had of catching Mickelson. He finished with a 69, which is hilarious. If you’re twelve.
  • We get it. Amy Mickelson has cancer.
  • Let’s hope that Jim Nantz’ call of “One for the family” after Mickelson’s win was more in support of Amy’s battle than a philanderer (Nantz) presumably calling out another philander. It seems like dubious timing for a guy screwing around on his wife
  • Phil Mickelson is a fat douchebag. I’m not the first one to say this, but the only reason he hasn’t cheated on his wife is because there is no other woman out there that would have sex with Phil Mickelson. Man boobs and inappropriately long hair is fine…if you’re Mark Henry.
  • Seriously, why are we championing Phil for not sleeping around? That’s like praising Gabourey Sidibe for not posing in Playboy. Too many people with common sense would prevent that from happening. conceivable

So I’m perfectly content to ignore golf now until the US Open, or until Tiger Woods enters another tournament. I really don’t have a problem with Phil winning, he’s talented enough, but parading him around on TV like he’s some hero of virtue really pisses me off. The guy won a golf tournament. It’s not like he…uh…cured cancer or anything.


TAGSGOLFPGA TOURPHIL MICKELSONThe MastersTIGER WOODS

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