Washington Redskins defensive pancake eater Albert Haynesworth is back in the news after being sued for child support. Silvia Mena, described as a “Salma Hayek lookalike” and an “exotic dancer” from Brooklyn, has filed a $10 million lawsuit, claiming that Haynesworth impregnated her and hasn’t helped her pay any of her medical bills.
The papers allege that Haynesworth — who signed a $100 million contract with the Redskins last year — has refused to talk to her since late March or give her any money toward her medical bills.
Ah, there’s that big contract again. Not exactly relevant to the story, but it’s nice kindling for the outrage of mothers everywhere.
Mena, 25, alleges Haynesworth, 28, met her in Miami, romanced her during Super Bowl week, and invited her to his Tennessee home. She claims in the documents that after learning about the pregnancy, Haynesworth promised to “emotionally and financially support Silvia.” But, “after making such promises . . . Haynesworth has abandoned the pregnant Sylvia Mena . . . He has refused to provide any emotional or financial support of Silvia Mena or his unborn child.” –NY Post.
This is going to make me sound less than wonderful, but I’m fresh out of sympathy for these poor, innocent, Selma Hayek lookalikes that just so happened to get intimate with millionaire athletes. Besides, a true professional like Haynesworth would never shirk on any of his responsibilities. He’d never shirk. He’s not the shirking type. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot and a shirker, but he is not a porn star.
But yeah, if I was in front of a well with a stripper on one side and a lawyer on the other, I don’t know which one I’d throw in first. Probably the lawyer. Strippers are easy to chase down. It’s the heels, really.