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‘I Know How Lance Armstrong Was Doping’

By 05.20.10

This is what the ninth circle of hell is like


7 time Tour de France Champion Lance Armstrong is having a tough week. Not only has 2006 Tour de France Champion steroid aficionado Floyd Landis accused Lance of showing him the ropes of PED use, but Versus switched viewers away from his win in the Tour of California for NHL pre-game talk.

Mr. Landis said that Mr. Armstrong’s longtime coach, Johan Bruyneel, introduced Mr. Landis to the use of steroid patches, blood doping and human growth hormone in 2002 and 2003, his first two years on the U.S. Postal Service team. He alleged Mr. Armstrong helped him understand the way the drugs worked. “He and I had lengthy discussions about it on our training rides during which time he also explained to me the evolution of EPO testing and how transfusions were now necessary due to the inconvenience of the new test,” Mr. Landis claimed in the email. He claimed he was instructed by Mr. Bruyneel how to use synthetic EPO and steroids and how to carry out blood transfusions that doping officials wouldn’t be able to detect. –WSJ.com

Lance had been in the steroid conversations a couple of years ago, but has managed to keep his reputation in tact. Well, as much as he could after banging Sheryl Crow. Floyd Landis has as much credibility as a crack addict in court, so Armstrong should manage to avoid sanctions from US Cycling or the International Cycling Union if he comes under investigation. Even if he did shoot up, cycling isn’t likely to point too many fingers at its biggest only superstar.

What does seem to have Lance’s panties in a bunch are the schmucks that choose the Versus programming schedule. Armstrong was all a Twitter (see what I did there?) when Versus moved away from his Tour de California win to show NHL pre-game babble.

“Who’s the dumbass @versustv that cut off @AmgenTourofCali coverage w/ a mile to go for pregame hockey?? #pathetic” –via USAToday

I’m impressed with Armstrong’s ability to use a trending topic. But I do have to agree with his grievances. Do hockey fans really need 10 more minutes of ‘expert analysis’ asking them to text the answers to poll questions? A better question would be ‘Does anyone even watch hockey pre-game shows?’ Maybe, but they wouldn’t if they weren’t all comatose, quadriplegic, or, even worse, Canadian.


TAGSDOUCHEBAGSFLOYD LANDISLANCE ARMSTRONGNHL

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