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Auto-Tune the News #12

Touchdown Portugal! It’s A WORLD CUPDATE

By / 06.21.10

Portugal just put the finishing touches on the biggest beatdown in this World Cup to date, a 7-0 beatdown of North Korea. The blowout gave Portugal three more points in the so-called “Group of Death,” while North Korea has been eliminated from the tournament.

Portugal controls its own destiny, they will advance to the knockout stage with a win or tie against Brazil. North Korea never really did control its own destiny, but such is the plight of peoples caught in the gears of a communist regime. Oh, and just because I used the word “touchdown” to describe a 7-0 soccer game doesn’t mean that we’ll start calling it “football.” Just like “fag” doesn’t mean bundle of sticks here, most of us Americans prefer our own way of doing things. Weekday Picks: Chile +120 vs. Switzerland (10 am), Spain -2 vs. Honduras (2:30 pm).


TAGSPORTUGALWORLD CUP

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