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Vuvuzelas Will Rip Your Throat Out: South African Woman Blows Too Hard

By 06.21.10

A lot has been said about how horrific the sound of vuvuzelas are and how they’re ruining the world cup watching experience for people all around. Lucky for you whiners, the vuvuzela’s striking back.

A South African lady was strolling down the street with her brand new horn of annoyance when all of a sudden she suffered an injury that’s usually associated with the teeth of feral wolves.

Yvonne, from Cape Town, said: “I had never blown a vuvuzela before but was given one at work and was going to watch the first South Africa match so thought I’d take it along.

I was walking towards the Fan Park in Cape Town and blowing it as hard as I could when suddenly my throat started to hurt. At first I thought I’d gone down with a bug but the next day it was worse.When I went to the doctor he took a look and then laughed.

He said I’d ruptured my throat by blowing too hard, and that perhaps I had been doing it all wrong.”

Specialists said an initial tear in her throat caused by air pressure had grown into a wound due to her constant blowing [chortle chortle]. -Daily Mail

If she’s doing it wrong, then all of those thousands of people blowing them during World Cup matches need to stop doing it right. Hopefully as the tournament progresses, officials won’t have to worry about the inane sound exuding from the speakers of televisions around the country because the blowers are struck with a throat rupturing epidemic. Also, what kind of asshole doctor laughs at a ruptured throat?

Here’s a dramatic reenactment of the times to come.

Vuvuzela Blower: BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. BZZZZ-thhhhbbbbbt.

Fellow Vuvuzela Blower: BZZZZZZZ- hey, what’s wrong, hombre?

Vuvuzela Blower: *Signals for medical help* My throat… has just fallen into my hands! I..I really don’t know how I’m speaking to you right now!

Seating section: BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…..

….

….

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Somebody needs to alert this poor man that his brilliant blowing is putting his throat in danger.

H/T Samer_K for the video


TAGSVUVUZELAS ARE GONNA HURT YOU

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