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LeBron Doesn’t Have A Thing On Modell

By / 07.09.10

Breaking: Sources say LeBron to play for Ravens


Nobody pisses off Cleveland like Art Modell. The man who moved their beloved Browns to Baltimore is on a level of hatred only topped by international war criminals, but most certainly not LeBron James. Art Modell is the true villain of Cleveland, and will certainly not have his spot superseded by some basketball playing commoner.

“Do I think LeBron James as he leaves Cleveland will become the most hated man in Cleveland, more hated than Art Modell?” Modell told the News-Herald, showing a love of the third person much like Mr. James. “Nonsense. Nonsense. I don’t think there’s any basis for it.”

James was a free agent; Modell moved an entire team out of town. At least he didn’t hold a one hour special on ESPN to rub it in, though.

“Too much is being made of it,” Modell said. “He’s going on network television at 9 tonight to announce what he’s going to do. Too many dramatics. I resent the whole thing being turned into a three-ring circus.”

Still, Modell had one idea to decide the most hated man, once and for all.

“Maybe we can each take 10 foul shots,” Modell said. “Whoever comes in second would be the most hated. I’m being sarcastic.” –PFT

Art is such an ornery curmudgeon, that he has to note when he’s being sarcastic. Too bad the word he’s looking for is facetious. There’s nothing really sarcastic about that statement. If he wanted to be sarcastic he would have said something to the extent of “Well of course LeBron is the most hated man in Cleveland. It’s not like he fired Paul Brown, didn’t win for 30 years, then moved their NFL team to Baltimore. That would jut be absurd.” Then he could roll his eyes and perform a dismissive wanking motion with his hand.

Not to mention that both of these fellators refer to themselves in the third person. That puts them pretty high on my personal hatred scale. Thankfully, there are good people like Mr. and Mrs. Ruffstein that are much too humble to do such a thing. I can’t tell you how nice they are. They’ve woken up very early in the morning to give me a ride to the airport on numerous occasions. Not to mention the brisket Mrs. Ruffstein makes is phenomenal.


TAGSLebron JamesNBATHE DECISION

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