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Mark Cuban To Buy Texas Rangers?

By / 07.22.10

The Texas Rangers are in a huge financial mess, as lenders are owed more than $525 million by owner Tom Hicks’ sports group and his failing franchise. A bankruptcy auction deadline of August 4 has lenders believing that the whole thing is rigged in favor of Chuck Greenberg and Nolan Ryan, who are heading up the leading group of bidders to buy the team. The lenders have asked the judge to delay the deadline so more bidders can get their financial ducks set up, and Major League Baseball just allowed bidding rights to one man with plenty of ducks – Mark Cuban.

Cuban’s lawyer said that the owner of the Dallas Mavericks isn’t sure if he’s going to get in on the action once the team goes up for auction, but Cuban has previously stated if he did buy the team he would certainly keep Nolan Ryan around as team president. Then he’d hire Robin Ventura and make the both of them reenact their 1993 fight every day. DANCE PUPPETS, DANCE!

Polish my monocle, Bloomberg Businessweek:

Cuban, a co-founder of the TV network HDNet, hasn’t decided whether to join two other bidders who qualified to participate in an Aug. 4 auction, said the attorney, Clifton R. Jessup Jr.

“There are so many issues and such a short period of time I can’t say more than we’re considering it,” Jessup said today in an interview before a Bankruptcy Court hearing on the auction in Fort Worth, Texas.

Critics don’t really believe that Cuban would keep Ryan around, or that Ryan would even want to stick around after being outbid by the flamboyant billionaire. Ryan’s ownership group is believed to have upwards of $575 million to spend on the team, while Cuban told everyone in the room to be quiet, pulled down his pants, let out a hellacious grunt and displayed a diamond the size of a basketball.

Ryan has also stated that the entire bankruptcy ordeal has been exhausting for everyone involved, including the players, and he believes that it might hurt the team’s chances of resigning Josh Hamilton. If Hamilton should walk, Ryan said he wouldn’t even want to stick around anyway, and then he spit a huge wad of tobacco on the floor and wiped his ass with sandpaper.


TAGSmark cubanMLBNOLAN RYANTEXAS RANGERSTHE WORLD'S SMALLEST VIOLIN

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